Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I belong

I have found this particular place to be a sanctuary to me. This week has been kind of a hard one on me. I don't mean to throw a pity party on the blog, but I do try to keep it real here. I am going through a new process trying to help my hormones. I was dumbstruck when I found out that through my clean eating, my body had already done so much healing on its own. But still, I've got a long ways to go. Since I create close to no progesterone, I'm trying to take it in a pill form. Hopefully it will help my body balance out and teach it to create hormones on its own.
I'm praying and hoping that we have come close to answers. Its not easy. With crazy new hormones and an unbalanced body, you get side effects. I've come to the conclusion, as many have, that it makes you feel pregnant, but without the nice little package at the end. I'm exhausted all day, I am sick from the moment I wake up, its been almost fifty days since I've had my last cycle, and don't even get me started on the emotional junk.
I called my doctor, I even got a blood pregnancy test to be sure. I was told it is actually normal to feel this way for a while. At least I'm not dizzy anymore. THANK GOODNESS.
Anywho, I don't mean to ramble about poor me. And I hope it doesn't come off that way.
Last night I really felt like I needed some comfort after feeling so discouraged and lonely. I turned off the stove, grabbed my keys, and just drove until I reached the temple. As I pulled up I realized it was closed. I got out to walk around with myself. Just me. For a long time not a single other person was there. It was so....peaceful. I've never been so alone at the temple, yet I've never felt like I was surrounded by people who love and care about me so much. I stayed until my fingers felt like ice and my tummy reminded me of the dinner I still had to finish at home. I left feeling like I was enough. And a little recharged.
It was so nice to have that experience. I doubt I will ever be lucky enough to have that sweet moment all to myself again, but hopefully the photos and word I write will help me to remember that I can turn to this special place anytime.
In other news, I am loving my new LG Optimus G phone! All of the above photos were taken right from my phone and weren't filtered or photo shopped at all. This baby does everything for me!


  1. I'm sorry sweetie. I've totally been there. When they were giving me stuff to raise my progesterone it was a frustrating process because of all those things you listed. I remember feeling pregnant EVERY month and it's a let down when you're not. I read a scripture the week I miscarried and it basically said that God will grant the righteous desires of your heart. For a few good months I remember pleading in prayer for him to grant my righteous desire of my heart to be a mother and promised to raise my children in the gospel. I know this is going to happen for you! You will be an amazing mother!

    1. Thank you, Anie! You have always been so kind to reach out to me, I really appreciate that. You are an amazing mommy of two, your babes are so lucky to have you!

  2. I'm sorry that this has been such a hard thing. I wish I knew how to help. If you need a meal or ten, let me know and we'd be happy to bring something tasty and healthy over. :) Love you muches!


Thank you for your kind words!