One year older and wiser too + awkward childhood photos

Yesterday was my sister's birthday! I am so lucky and happy to have her in my life. We are best friends and so close. I'm glad we were able to share a room together for 17 years. And that we have grown up enjoying a lot of the same hobbies. We spent our childhood running around the farm barefoot, climbing haystacks, riding in the tractor barrel, and playing with ponies and a lot of other animals all day long. I was looking through some of our old scrapbooks and found all of these photos of us when we were younger. I snapped a few with my phone (hence the not so awesome second generation quality) and knew I had to post a few! Some are clearly not so flattering. Oh, to be so awkward on a daily basis again.... 

 

We know nothing of golf really.

 

Danced together since we were tiny.

Always playing dress up at Grandma's

Yes, that is a baby goat on our couch, nothing out of the ordinary :)

My sad attempt at bangs and fashion. But hey! Look at those houses!

And our piano recitals. Which I don't remember a thing I ever learned.

 



My new phone background. Check out that style.

 

 

 

 

Love you, Jo!

 

 

You could say this is a #TBT I guess. And more stuff.

 

I was flipping through old photos and found these gems.

 

Note: This is not an announcement :)

 

Yep, that is Baby Kailie on the left and Baby Jimmy on the right.

 

Tell me, something doesn't look right here. Aside from all of the hoots and hollers we give over this photo, I can't help but be slightly jealous of the hubs for having fantastic hair. Obviously I was bald. For far too long. So, what will the future Baby Breitlings look like? Hahahaha.

 

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The hubs wrote and sang me a song this morning:

"Mooses have bruises and geeses have leases on their nieces!"

He sang it all. morning. long. Then texted me his lyrics at work. It was rather sweet and romantic.

I told him to be quiet.

 

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As of now I am husbandless for a few days. He kissed me goodbye and headed off for a backpacking trip. I would have loved to go with him but my body just can't do that much right now. He says, "Maybe next time you can come!"

 

I am a little worried about him being out there. If he were any less skilled then I would be very on edge right now. Hubs told me he was more nervous about me than himself. Something about my overactive imagination. ;) Good thing I have plans to stay busy and hang with family! And making some frozen yogurt in the ice cream maker. MMM!

 

Anywho, you would be slightly worried too when

A) He preps you by saying, "If I'm not back by this time...then somethings wrong."

And

B) While making his meals, he expresses a little concern about the animals being able to smell his food and causing some trouble. He later adds, "If bears come and bother me, I'll just feed them these jalapeno pepper seeds."

 

 

 

 

i learned my lesson the hard way. and we are reunited!

You know how I posted about all of our yummy food in my last post?

Well, shoot, did I ever learn my limits this weekend.

My body has been super sensitive to the food I have been eating. Especially the junk. And even though I didn't eat a ton of it, junk food was all I had over the weekend.

I guess my body can't handle it right now so Monday morning I woke up sick to my stomach. I chewed mint gum, drank lemon water, went outside for fresh air, lay down, too hot, too cold, couldn't stand, hated sitting. Nothing worked.

The nausea just got worse and before we knew it, I was laying on the bathroom floor crying, telling Jimmy how it hurt so bad and I've never felt so sick before.

Jimmy was the sweetest. Rubbing my back, cleaning the house before work, asking if there was anything he could get from the store. He even offered to look for the knock-me-out sleeping pills, just so I could sleep through it all since nothing else was working. Boy did those pills work. A four hour nap later and a lot of clinging to the porcelain, and I was on the road to recovery.

 Yuck. So for the past two days I've been eating nothing but veggies, some fruit, and some healthy light protein. (With a little treat tonight.)

 Moral of the story- Don't test your limits. Its gross. And painful. But you do get to be lazy and watch shows all day. And your hubby will be super sweet. So it wouldn't be a total loss.

 

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On a much much happier and less gross picturing note, I saw my oldest and closest friends from high school! (And a little after high school too, until we all got busy with grown up stuff.) We met up to see our previous sewing teacher before she left teaching at our high school. Seeing as we spent hours and hours in that sewing room, we naturally became her annoying children. We fought a lot. But she loved us all those years. We ate some ridiculously good food tonight. And watched the fashion show. And laughed a lot. And took a lot of pictures. And was too hot in that room with all those people. And sat in the car to talk and laugh some more. And promised that we would have to get together again. I'm holding up my end of the promise, ladies!

 

Ummm, that peanut butter brownie in the back? Party in my mouth. Should have dumped the whole display table in my purse while I had the chance.

 

 How many takes do we need for just one crazy face picture? Apparently six.

 

 

The four crazy, sewing girlies. Minus one who's in Germany (we missed you J!) That photo we are holding is of us in high school that our teacher kept in her classroom. Who would have ever thought that we might have matured a bit after graduation? I know, I know.

 

Somehow our heads are all flattened out....but hey! That lady in the middle taught me everything I know about sewing and boys. The most important lifeskills. Such a peach. We'll miss you, H!

 

 

when pinterest fails you

I sure do love easy hair-doo's. I spend a total of two minutes (at the most) on my hair everyday. Curling it with my snazzy curling rod is my fastest style yet, minus my single braid I often do too. But even now that seems to be taking up too much of my morning. So lazy, I know.

 And on Pinterest,  I keep seeing all of these "No heat overnight curls tutorial, guaranteed to get you gorgeous giant beachy waves with no work!"

Whatever.

I've tried so many of them, with each failing me.

But this week, this week I thought I really had a chance at pulling one of the tutorials off.

I showered at night like I always do (again, it saves me time in the morning and I don't like the thought of getting into bed all gross)

Then I spent waaaaay too much time trying to figure out that dang rope braid thing.

Whoever can get that on their first time has pure talent.

I hopped into bed telling Jimmy that I already knew I looked like I belonged in the Brady Bunch.

I blame that on the braids coming down in front of my ears.

I slept all night long.

Then the next morning, excited to see my beautiful voluminous curls, I gently started taking out my rope braids.

And instantly, in that moment, I gasped.

Like my hair was dying to get out of the braid, it all just poofed out at once.

Like really poofed.

It almost looked like I had an afro.

An afro would have looked better on me.

No, it down right looked like I had a poodle laying on my head.

A giant fat poodle.

And I couldn't get it off.

I ran downstairs to the bathroom to try to fix my hair with anything I could find.

I thought water would work, but instead I run into Hubs, who took one look at me and said, "You look like Raggedy Anne!"

Of course this had to happen on the morning we are already rushing out the door.

So the only thing I could do was to braid it all back in one single, (non ropey!) traditional braid.

I was hoping this would solve my problems.

But I went from looking like I had a full on poodle over my head to looking like I had sprouted a poodle's tail over night.

Because at the very end of the tight, frizzy braid I had just wrestled with, was one giant, puffy, puff ball.

 

And that my friends, is how I went about my day.

little letters

 

 

Dear Spring, Please stay here for more than a week this time! You were so kind to us and gave us our much needed warm skin and "happy rays", but then you turned around and tricked us! No fair. So stay for sure this time, k?

 

Dear Comcast, we don't really like you. Your empty promises of rebates and over charging our bill then delivering channels that don't even work all of a sudden is a joke. Hubs has been on the phone with you guys for months trying to get our money back that you promised we would get. But instead we just get overcharged on our next bill and not so helpful customer service. Boo on you.

 

Dear Hair, today you are my friend. I woke up and looked at you in the mirror then quickly walked away in fear that I would give myself nightmares. But you stepped up for once and gave me some voluminous curls later. Extra crazy bead head for sought after curls minutes later? Its a trade off I can do with. The hubs, maybe not.

 

Dear Dizzy spells, why in the world have you been coming everyday for the past three days? I think its my new progesterone capsules that are inviting you, because 20 minutes after I take them, I get hit with a wave of dizziness that lasts for 2 hours. Not to mention you come when I am supposed to be heading off to work. But since there is no way I'm driving while dizzy, I've had to lay down and wait for your to pass.

 

Dear House, how do you like being clean? Do you even remember what that feels like, hmm? The hubs even commented on how nice you looked last night. If there's a real difference in how well you cleaned up, then I think that means I gotta get in my deep cleaning mode more often. Er, deep cleaning as in vacuum and tidy up.

 

Dear Peanut Butter Protein Bites, You. Are. So. Good. Luckily you are grain and sugar free. And so easy to make. I've kept you guys a secret for a week. You have a special hiding spot even the hubs doesn't know about, and when he's not looking, I grab one of you real quick. My sister, Jo, has already found you though, and she agrees you are so impossible to resist. Recipes here and here.

happy anniversary to us!

A photo dump of what our weekend looked like. If you make it to the end- treat yourself to something sweet.

It took me a whole year to finally give in to camping- Jimmy's camping. The kind of camping where  you stuff everything into a backpack, hike till you find a secluded spot, filter your own water from the stream, improvise your proper restroom habits, pray you don't wipe yourself with poison oak, and cross your fingers that a bear doesn't smell your garbage way up in the tree kind of camping. But I surprised myself and Jimmy with my mad fire building skills (Ok he actually started the fire, but I built it, that counts right?) and my ability to not whine while I ate my dinner with the bugs and dirt. And then I really surprised everyone when I said, "Lets start doing this every week, this is fun!"

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After our little camping trip, we spent the next day hiking around. And then I got stung by a fat bumble bee. And boy oh boy did I cry. And screamed. Because it stung me in a place that might make some of you faint (ahem, woo-hoo region) And it burned like fire. And I cried some more because I always swell up like Aunt Petunia on Harry Potter when this happens. (quoting a kind friend) But Jimmy was so cute and said, "Here! Lets pretend your in labor- squeeze my hand as hard as you can...breathe!!!" (I still don't know why he said that) And when I told him where I got stung, he joked that I'd have to "drop my drawers." And then I laughed...hard. And pretty soon there were no room for tears, just lots of laughs while be gathered some wild plants and doctered me up. By the way- did you know that the milk from dandilions is used on stings to help with inflamation? And the sap from pine needles is used for disinfecting and sealing the sting up? Pretty cool. I will never tease you again for reading all of those weird "How to Survive in the Woods" books, Jimmy. Because you sure saved me. My sting is just fine now.

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When everything calmed down and I felt better, we hiked around some more. I walked behind Jimmy and one of the hikes we choose was a little adventurous- you have to crouch down because there were a lot of tight spaces and trees. Every few minutes or so Jimmy would hear me scream, then he'd turn around really fast and find me stuck with my hair tangled up in another branch. What I do for my lover.

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We then made our way down to the Manti Pageant. Ate at a delicous little diner and drove around looking at houses and property, making lists of which ones we said we'd buy someday. Were suckers for small towns. Then we heard there was a big fire a few miles away so I prayed it wouldn't come ruin our weekend. I'm sure the pageant itself was great- we wouldn't know though because we ended up snoozing through so much of it. I think I really wear Jimmy out when I come along on his adventures. Its a good thing he loves me.



Reaching that point

*Getting awkward glances from the guy at the store while I pick up some men's deodorant* 

 What? Jimmy will just be glad I'm not using his anymore!

Jimmy's been on this nick naming kick. Lately my names have been Young One, Little One, and Soul Sister.

Step aside ,Little One.

Come here ,Young One.

You got that right, Soul Sista!

*While laying in bed at 11:00 PM*

Me: Oh, I got invited to go to the Chris Young concert!

Jimmy: Who's that?

Me proudly singing: Tomorrow....I'm gonna leave here....I'm-

*Jimmy puts his hand over my mouth*: It's too late for your singing.

I am certain I can say that we've reached that point. The point in marriage where you no longer have a comfort zone. Where the other person has seen every single side of you. (At least all of the sides you have now!) Even after 6 years of knowing each other, I still laugh at all of the funny comments and Jimmy still teases me like no other!

You know you are out of shape when....

After Jillian Michaels' five minute warm up, you are sweaty and out of breath. Ohhh myyyyy goshhhh.

Here is the story...

I ran to Wal-Mart on Saturday to pick up some stuff for our grill and happened to see a Jillian Michaels kit on sale for five dollars. (Five Dollars!!!) The kit included two of her work out DVDs and a set of hand weights. So of course I picked it up! One DVD was to boost your metabolism while the other was targeted for "trouble zones." I popped the DVD for "trouble zones" in this morning and thought to myself, "How hard could it be? I've done a ton of conditioning and muscle building in the past.".....................HAHAHAHAHA!

Its pathetic how jump-roping and jumping jacks for a few minutes leaves you practically dead.

I pushed through the five minute arm circuit then pushed through the five minute abs circuit

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15 minutes of working out, people. 15 minutes and I'm dead and achy. And lets not mention five of those minutes was just considered "warming up"

I must have looked pretty pathetic because bro-in-law saw me and just started laughing. Then for pure entertainment only, he kicked back with a few tacos and watched me limp through my five minute circuit. 

The hubs needed to get his jokes in for the day, so he jumped on up and flailed his arms around in front of the T.V. and did some weird flamingo lady dance.

"Keep it up, hubs. Just humor me. Do it tomorrow and I'll have the camera ready."

SOOOO.....while you, my hubs, may think its hilarious to watch me struggle with one legged pushups while wearing spandex and sporting a lion's mane-like bedhead, I WILL keep pushing through these five minute circuits and WILL be happy with my strong and healthy body!

And sometimes I just like to giggle

*source*

Hope you all are having a lovely week!

I am spending mine making and eating my homemade salsa while half of it dribbles down my chin.

A Sun Shiney Post

Today is a great day! The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, the house is sparkling clean, I am accomplishing goals and to do lists, and I'm all about wearing yellow today!

Happy Monday! I hope this week is absolutely splendid for all of you! :)

Love, The Stretchy Face Girl.

Dear God...

I found this cute photo floating around. Hope you giggle a bit, I know I did!

(I was having a hard time getting the photo to work with blogger, if for some reason it's not working, please let me know!)

*via*

On a different note, my house took a bath in bleach today. Lets just say it was long overdue! I love the smell of a well scrubbed house! I also cleaned out my fridge and disinfected it. Ew. I need to be much better about using up those leftovers that hide in the back because rotten eggs, moldy beans, and flexible celery should NOT be my reality.